Dating After Divorce, How Soon Should I Consider Dating?

Dating After A DivorceBy Anubha Shyam

Divorce, no doubt is an intricate phase in one’s life, several issues have to be resolved, vivid memories of the past have to be deleted, self-esteem and confidence have to be rejuvenated, and the deep laceration that divorce leaves behind have to be provided healing touch. You may feel exasperated dealing with divorce trepidations, and in such a scenario you definitely will not have the time as well as energies to devote to dating. Several questions will impinge your mind simultaneously such as, “Would someone really want me?” or “Would anyone find me attractive?” or “Will I ever learn to date again?”

During excruciating divorce proceedings you may feel lonely and desire the camaraderie of someone. You may also find someone, but he/she may only be lending a sympathetic shoulder for you to cry up on and may soon be fed up of your problems with ex-spouse, children, in-laws or daily trips to New York lawyers firm. Do not rush into a new relationship in haste because it will be built on a weak foundation and in no time it will crumble. Moreover, it is not good to initiate a new relationship while the trails of the past relationship have still not disappeared, that is you are still in the last stages of your official or final separation. Not only will it save you some explanation in the court, but it will also speed up the process and free you in no time.

Now that you are single and ready to mingle, you should first focus on whether dating is right for you or not. Do not let others compel you to rush or go slow, take your own decisions. The divorce tempest must have left you perplexed. Give yourself some time to revert back to a normal being. Do things that lift up your spirits and make you feel more confident. Work on improving your own self and self-esteem. Take good care of yourself. Join a gym to tone up your physique, eat healthy, and get a facial, streaks in your hair and a manicure. Give yourself a complete makeover, buy new accessories, clothes, etc. This will help you to triumph over the horrendous past.

Take time to think about your children. Be prepared for their medley of reactions about your new relationship. They may be supportive or they may simply not support your new relationship. They may sabotage your dating plans, whine when you're on the phone, misbehave when your date arrives, fail to give you messages, and otherwise throw a wrench into your best-laid plans. Do not forget that your children have gone through the same grieving process as you have. Remember your date can possibly never replace their other parent, so give them time, eventually you will find your children beside you.

Resist the temptation of someone who is totally different from your ex-spouse. Remember, that there were a lot of things about your ex-spouse that appealed you once up on a time. For heaven’s sake do not indulge in any relationship just to wage revenge on your ex. Nobody relishes an emotional roller coaster ride. Your first relationship should be a healing experience. It should revitalize your feelings, and your emotions. It is the best time to rediscover yourself. It is not necessary that the first relationship should be a long one or last forever. Don’t be bog down if a break up occurs because at least you got a chance to wet your feet.

About the Author: Anubha is studying computers and also works as a part time freelance writer. Her articles are regularly published at reputed websites. Read more articles written by Anubha at: http://www.blogcharm.com/BollywoodSizzlers

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